


Eyebrow Game be Strong

by UnmaskedTomatoes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, here mouse, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1463128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnmaskedTomatoes/pseuds/UnmaskedTomatoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was genetics' fault that he had such large eyebrows. He couldn't help it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyebrow Game be Strong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheFaceofaMouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFaceofaMouse/gifts).



> Idek its sort of rushed and messy but yeah here

"...Hanji, what are you doing?"

"Wow Erwin, your eyebrow hair is so long I can braid it!"

Erwin groaned under his breath as Hanji promptly placed themself in his lap, sitting directly on the book he was very much into. They slightly crinkled the pages, and the blonde went to straighten them out as his eyebrows were played with.

"Hanji- ouch, Hanji, stop," Erwin commanded as he pushed away their hands. "Can I help you? Did Levi kick you out of his bedroom again?"

Hanji cackled as they were pushed away, drowning out the blonde's question. Erwin waited patiently for them to stop slowly blowing his eardrums out as he busied himself with pushing the brunette off of him all the way.

"You should do something about those," Hanji mentioned suddenly, pointing up at Erwin from where they were seated on the floor of the somewhat cramped apartment. Their tone was serious yet playful at the same time, and if Erwin didn't know them for so long he would probably be appalled at how fast they suddenly stopped laughing.

Erwin touched his eyebrows gingerly, sighing a little under his breath in slight sadness. It was genetics' fault that he had such large eyebrows. He couldn't help it. When he was only a kid in elementary school, being called eyebrows hurt him a lot. But then, 30 years old and living in an apartment with a total buzz kill that called him all sorts of names, he was completely used to it. And that was the sad part.

"I know a cheap place down the street so Levi won't throw a hissy fit about money or whatever," Hanji continued, moving their hands as they talked. It was almost like they totally forgot they were on the floor.

"... That will do what, exactly?"

"Wax your eyebrows, /duh/," Hanji rolled their eyes and stood up, flashing a grin. They gave Erwin a small business card that had the name, address, and phone number of the eyebrow waxing place near him.

"Now if you'd excuse me," Hanji spoke again, not giving Erwin a chance to say something, "I'm going to kick Levi's butt in Sorry!"

And with that, they bounded away towards Levi's room. Erwin flipped the card around to examine it, then put it in his book as a bookmark that he really needed, as a reminder to go later. Just one more chapter.

\----------

Nine chapters later and Levi was making dinner. Hanji had already gone home and it was just Erwin and his shortcake of a housemate making spaghetti. Aside from the clanging of the wooden spoon and the sizzling of the pot, it was near silence. They weren't much for talking. At least, not while Erwin was reading or they were in foul moods.

As Erwin put down his book, the clanging in the kitchen stopped and it was just the sizzling pasta. Erwin looked over to see Levi's dull gaze boring into his soul. If he wasn't used to it, he'd look away from intimidation.

Erwin spoke first. "I'm going to get my eyebrows waxed," he mentioned casually, crossing his hands in his lap. Levi just stared on in his usual unamusement.

"We have a budget."

"Hanji says the place down the street is cheap."

"Hanji..." Levi muttered in what sounded like disgust, turning back to the pasta and stirring it. "You know what's too expensive. Do whatever. I don't care."

Erwin just smiled and assisted Levi in serving dinner.

\----------

Not too long after dinner, Erwin scheduled his appointment for the next day. He thought it was sort of silly to make an appointment for eyebrow waxing, but whatever helped them sleep at night, he supposed.

He went into the shop the next day after work. He could understand why the place was cheap. It didn't exactly look official, and something about it made him raise his defenses. If Hanji recommended it though, then it must be safe. Then again, Hanji was... Hanji.

One of the employees made their way up to the front desk to assist Erwin. She smacked her gum with a bored expression,and she spoke loudly. Very loudly. Erwin couldn't ever get used to it since Levi always spoke so quietly all the time, and it wasn't like he saw Hanji every day.

"How can I help you?" She spoke, her accent thick as she leaned against the counter and checked her nails, not focusing on Erwin whatsoever.

"Erwin Smith, I'm here for an appoint-"

He was cut off by the woman yelling something in fast Korean behind her to another worker. She then started chuckling dryly and pointed at a seat not too far away from them.

"Wait there," she demanded as she walked off. Erwin complied, slowly taking a seat in one of the old black chairs in the corner of the room. It wasn't long before he stood up again, one of the girls ushering him into the room with all of the main biz. He was quickly prepared and it almost left his head spinning, but soon enough he was sent out the door after paying a small fee. He was on his way home in no time.

He got through the door and found Levi hanging up his coat. So he had just gotten home then.

The shorter man turned and looked Erwin over for a short moment before kicking of f his shoes and heading into the kitchen, Levi's favorite room in the house.

"Not even going to comment on my eyebrows?" Erwin joked, lifting a single eyebrow and striking a ridiculous pose. He watched as Levi just stared. And stared. And then pulled out some latex gloves.

"What is there to comment on? They look exactly the same. Knock it off that pose is ridiculous."

Erwin's face fell immediately, as did his pose. "What do you mean? I had just gotten them waxed."

"Then I guess they did an awful job then, because /nothing/ changed. Now I'm cleaning, so go away."

Erwin sighed and moved to the bathroom where he could inspect his eyebrows. He was shocked once he saw his reflection- Levi was right. His eyebrows looked exactly the same as before he had them waxed. But... he was completely sure that, that wasn't what they looked like. They looked better when he saw them before he had left the shop. Upset, Erwin made another appointment so he could wax them again. Free of charge, the lady said, considering his incident. How nice of them, Erwin thought.

He went back in for the appointment after dinner. The process was the same as last time; he walked up to the desk, sat in the chair, was urged into the main biz room, got the waxing done, looked his eyebrows over to make sure they looked good (which they did), and he left.

Levi was seated on the couch when he got home. Immediately, he quirked an eyebrow, and waited for his housemate to look up.

"..."

"...Nothing?" Erwin groaned and dramatically flopped next to Levi.

"Again, they're the same." To signal the end of the conversation, Levi turned back to his book. Wait, that was Erwin's book...

"I swear, I got them waxed!" Erwin didn't even wait for a response as he ran into the bathroom. Again, Levi was right.

Now Erwin was mad. He was really mad.

He made another appointment angrily, but the lady said that she'd have to charge him. He didn't care. He just wanted them waxed.

The result was the same, though. He'd get home and ask Levi how they looked, Levi would say they looked the same and went back to cleaning, and Erwin would look in the mirror and frown. Appointment after appointment, nothing changed.

Eventually Levi confronted Erwin about the budget. He had gone so many times it blew a hole in their savings, and basically, he needed to stop. And Erwin decided it was best, if it wasn't changing anything. So he quit going.

He told Hanji about it too, during a brief visit of theirs. He didn't get much of a response though, just a shrug.

A while passed since the eyebrow incident, but Erwin hadn't forgotten. No, he never forgot. He would always think about it. And one day, he decided to experiment.

What if he shaved his eyebrows off?

So one morning before Levi was awake, he went into the bathroom and took out a razor. He was gonna do it. He was ready.

He didn't even use shaving cream or anything, he just shaved them clean off and watched them. For a while nothing happened. But then he started to see them growing- and in no time at all his eyebrows grew back.

Erwin almost cried.

He threw the razor down on the counter, resulting in said razor to break, and he flopped on his bed quickly. That time, he really did cry. Why couldn't he have nice things? What did he ever do to the world?

When Levi woke up to make coffee an hour later, he heard Erwin crying through the door as he passed his room.

To this day, no one knows why Erwin's eyebrows grow back. Not even Hanji. But some believe that it was actually Hanji's fault, that she used him for an experiment. But no one truly knows the reason why Erwin Smith's eyebrows are so huge in the first place, or why they grow back when waxed or shaved.

His eyebrow game sure is strong though.


End file.
